the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a beard to bite.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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