Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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