he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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