It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
