She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
