i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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