Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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