Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
