god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
