I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
