5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize