I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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