Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
