He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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