She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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