were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
