just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize