I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
