Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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