If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
