When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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