I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize