Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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