Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I want is dick and wine.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
