I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
