It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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