sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
