Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
