That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
