Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
