at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
