If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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