help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm bleeding and have questions
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize