U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
