he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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