he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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