the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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