did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize