She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
