is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Pooping to opera.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
