Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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