you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
