she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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