so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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