the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
