Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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