sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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