so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
