dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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