Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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