Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How naked do you want me to be?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
