It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
