So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
