I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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